Northern Irish people, do you feel that you have more in common with those from the Republic of Ireland or those from Britain?

I grew up in a rather polarised unionist community, so my baseline of identity has been strongly influenced by my own immediate environment, 

i.e. politics, religion, values, traditions, education, sports, popular pastimes, music, etc. 

To say that I have more in common, therefore, with “the British” would be stating the obvious, 

as I am British. But I feel I must be more specific than lumping the British altogether when it comes to “the people”.

I have had the advantage of being able to test my hypotheses, having lived in both GB and the RoI for several years and can conclude, personally speaking, that I feel most in common with:

1. The Scottish (regardless of religious persuasion);
2. The Irish (of the RoI);
3. The English (I have felt a greater rapport, for whatever reason, with the Northern English/Geordies).

[Unfortunately I haven’t had the pleasure of getting to know any Welsh or folk from any Overseas Territories so cannot comment.]

If I were to offer an explanation as to why, 

I have found that the English are usually least willing/interested to find common ground with us Northern Irish or even acknowledge our Britishness. 

I  get it, we as a nation are a thorn in their side, and a complicated one at that. 

It’s easier to think of us all as being “Irish” than get into the complexities, and most probably expect that they may not have to tolerate us indefinitely anyhow. 

It’s a shame really, because I am just as interested in British politics, the EFL Championship matches on this weekend, 

reminiscing about old TV shows we used to watch on BBC or finding out which offers are on in Sainsbury’s supermarket this week, as the next English lady or chap. 

But if someone else has already decided that you are nothing like them, it’s more difficult to meet in the middle.

The Irish (of RoI) have been (for me) the MOST embracing and willing to find common ground with us Northern Irish; even if a little misguided at times, it’s nearly always in good faith. 

Despite our differences (even fundamental ones), the Irish are often willing to put them aside, although I cannot say that this is always the case as strong opposing political opinions can really cause divides. 

I ended up, by pure unintentional happenstance, in an IRA pub in Dublin one evening and it didn’t take them long to work out that I did not “kick with the same foot”. 

As I was bolting for the door, instead of lynching me, they reminded me how they put the orange in their Tricolour flag for the Protestants because they accepted us as being just as Irish as they are. 

As nice a sentiment as that is, 

I personally don’t feel very Irish at all. I can’t speak two words of Gaelic, I know nothing of Irish sports, music, popular culture, politics, and admittedly very little about Irish history. 

I have observed that our mannerisms can be quite different too; but whatever they are doing, they seem to be doing it right as they are well-received wherever they go.

Scottish and Northern Irish have always been prone to intermixing so we have a very similar culture, humour, attitude, roots, struggles and even a similar way to speak (common slang). 

They are also better-exposed to us for that reason, than perhaps the English would be. When I lived in Scotland, I found it to fit like a glove.

In spite of having most in common with the Scottish, I would happily live in the RoI or England again. 

Commonality is not the be-all-and-end-all. Dublin and London are just about as diverse in demographics these days as you can get, and better for it.

Booking.com